Transition Traumas

A lot of parents get anxious about their child’s transition to Secondary School. Many children will be nervous too. It is natural to feel concerned about such a big change. Here are some tips on how to make the transition run as smoothly as possible.

1. Talk to your child

If your child feels able to talk to you, discuss their worries with them. Together you can work out ways to deal with their concerns. Some children are reluctant to admit they are nervous, so you may want to tackle things a different way. Discussing your own transition to high could help. Focus on your own worries and how you dealt with them. Try to keep it positive. If your child isn’t one for discussions, talk to other people about it within their earshot.

2. Dealing with bullying

Your child is about to go to a school where they will be amongst the smallest and youngest. It is natural to feel vulnerable. Make sure you are clear on the school’s policy on bullying. Find out who your child should go to if they are having problems. Make sure your child knows what to do if someone is making their life difficult. Some schools have a buddy system so older children can help them out.

3. Dealing with relationships

Your child may have friends who are going to the same High School as them. These might be friends they’ve had right the way through Primary School. This can be a real support to them as they transition. However, there can be a bit of an adjustment as they enter a larger school. They may find that their friends form new relationships. Even though they may make new friends too, there can be some friction. Some children worry that they will lose old friends. Some children get so absorbed in making new friends that they can neglect their old ones.   There can be jealousy and insecurity over new friendships. All you can do is be there as a sounding board if your child faces these issues. Many Secondary Schools will have transition days in July whereby Year 6 pupils go to their new school for a day or a week. Encourage your child to make new friends on the bus or on their way to school. You could then try to arrange for them to meet up with these new friends and their old ones in the Summer Holidays.

4. Dealing with practicalities

Of course, you’ll probably have already worked out how your child will travel to school. If they are having to make their own way there, it is worthwhile sorting out some ‘what to do if..’ plans. For example, what to do if the bus doesn’t turn up or if someone on the bus is giving them a hard time. If they can travel with friends that’s good, but if not sitting near the bus driver might be a good idea until they work out who to sit with.

Some children are more organised than others. If your child struggles with this, they may need help packing their school bag. You could work on this over the Summer. For example, if you are going away, you could get them to pack their own bag. You could also get them involved in planning a day out. It is all to do with forward-thinking and making sure you have everything you need for the day. Some children will always find this difficult, but it doesn’t mean they can’t practise the skills.

You might be surprised at how many children worry about going to the toilet at their new Secondary School. Horror stories are told about flushing heads down toilets and bullying. A lot of these are just scare stories and schools should have safeguarding in place to avoid these situations. However, this won’t necessarily stop your child from worrying. Suggest that they go to the toilet with friends to begin with. If there are issues, then you can take it up with the school.

5. Dealing with work

You will already know how well your child copes with schoolwork. If they manage well, then they will probably do the same when they start Secondary School. However, if they struggle, it might be an idea to try and do something over the Summer Holidays to prepare them for the work ahead. It can be tempting to avoid any kind of academic work at all over the Summer Holidays. This is especially true if your child kicks up a fuss about it. There are things that you can do, though, which help them academically but don’t seem like school. Read my blog for some ideas.

Children who find academic work difficult can often put themselves down and lack confidence. Avoiding any kind of work like this over the Summer can exacerbate the problem. Your child may get further behind as they forget what they have learnt during the break. As September looms, they may worry about being able to cope with the work at their new school. A little bit of light-touch work on the things they find difficult can go a long way. Some believe that just two hours a week spent on academic work can help children avoid sliding back in their learning. This needn’t be in solid blocks. If you read my blog, you can see how it can be integrated into everyday life so it doesn’t seem like a chore.

Starting Secondary School should be an exciting time for your child. New opportunities are opening up for them. So, as well as talking to your child about any concerns they might have, discuss what great things are ahead too.